JoelNothman.com

20 July, 2007

Home hospitality

Filed under: Society and culture, Travels by Joel @ 2:00 am, 20 July 2007.

So the year-and-a-day is over.

But I think it is remarkable that of those 366 nights, I stayed in a hostel / motel / hotel only:

  • 5 nights in San Francisco (July 19, 20, 23, 24, 25)
  • 4 nights in New Orleans (July 26, 27, 30, 31)
  • 1 night in Memphis (August 1)
  • 2 nights in Niagara (March 23, 24)
  • 1 night in London (April 30)
  • 2 nights in Amsterdam (May 1, 2)
  • 2 nights in Paris (May 7, 8)

That’s seventeen days in total!

I wanted to say an enormous thank you to everyone I’ve stayed with along the way, who have all been extraordinarily hospitable to me in finding somewhere for me to sleep, feeding me, taking me out occasionally, giving me their kids to play with…

So thanks to the Kellermans (LA), Fieldmans (Vegas), Rabbi Lipner (San Francisco), Rivkins (New Orleans), Makowskys (Memphis), Rosenwassers (Chicago), Hoffmans (New York and Baltimore), Schmidts (Silver Spring), Youngs (Toronto), Moyals, Whitmans and Davidovitches (Montreal), Katlers (Boston), Yogi and friends, and the Dwecks (New York), Rabeeyas (Philadelphia), Brodkeys (Arlington), Weiszes (Amsterdam), Allals (Paris), Jack S (London), Lindsay and Spencer, and the Shaws (Manchester), Levys (London), Atlases, Sukeniks, Marshalls and Chobotaros (Israel)!!!

The variety of people here is astounding, and how I found my way to their home varies in each case. Some were friends I had met in Australia. Others I found after desperately contacting a synagogue in town in hope that they would be able to hook me up (sometimes at very short notice). After being staying with one family in Memphis, they put me onto another in Chicago. Still more were friends of my family members, or friends from McGill, or friends of friends, or, in Israel, family itself. One was an 85 year old man who Naomi had stayed with in London, the friend of her mother’s friend’s mother… All I can say is that the support of local Jewish communities for visitors is generally phenomenal, and while I somewhat feel ashamed to have this ethnic advantage, it has made for amazing opportunities.

In some ways it needs to: there are many difficulties in travelling when young and Jewish and observant. In some places, it can be very hard to find kosher food, and staying in hostels or hotels can be very difficult on shabbat, and can even be quite uncomfortable each morning when I go to wrap leather around my arm. Where I only had somewhere to stay for shabbat, the rest of the week I would have a staple of bagels and avocado, fruit, etc., along with the often lacking kosher restaurants in the area. Shabbat always gave me an opportunity to revive in the company of new friends.

And that brings the social aspect. When travelling alone, it can be hard to make social attachments, although they’re necessary, because without the lone traveller can fall into boredom. It can be unsettling, also, to live around people who themselves are unsettled, as you often get in the hostel. Once a person opens their home to you, you grow a family, and get to know it—its children, its pets—much closer than other people met along the way. You enter what is already built as a comfortable environment and it immediately brings warmth.

You also enter the world of a local. Apart from the wonderful generosity of the hosts, I also had the opportunity to experience some resident culture of the places I visited by sharing a house with some residents, and by sharing their conversations at meals. So the host becomes not only a personal experience, but also a wonderful cultural experience.

There are, of course, also disadvantages to staying with households. The locals don’t tend to live where the tourists want to be, so it can often be a shlep to get to somewhere more useful to see the more typical city. This was a good reason to spend a few days in hostels even when I had hosts waiting. And then there’s the problem of not enough keys to house doors, which can limit freedom… But it’s all worth it in the end.

Finally, it has been strange being a guest for a whole year. Being served, and not serving or cleaning up most of the time (”No, you’re the guest, I insist!”). Maybe also not composting and recycling like I would at home. Of course this has been a nice luxury (and may have made me a little lazy). Nonetheless, I feel ashamed to constantly served, and miss being able to do things my own way. So at least now at home I have the wonderful chance to cook a little more, clean a little more… haha.

In the end, I would really like to be able to host people too. We have from time to time: recently immigrated families, or guests from out of town needing holiday dinners… But I think I’ll have to wait till I have my own house and my own table before I start welcoming all these lost and lonely travellers.

Me and Sylvia K
Dinner with Nomi
Me and Shimrit
Me with Jack
Hadar and me
Rachel and Tukia
Harry and Imbar
Ilana driving again
Me with Gary & Dina
Me and Yosef
IMG_4743out
Jakie, me & granny
My room
Me and Yedidya
Hether and Tzivia

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